Hey Max - you've got a very creepy premise here - and the addition of the laugher is a macabre touch. That said, I think you need to reconsider your act one set-up. While it's great that you've got a handle on your female character's backstory, I'm not sure Act 1 is able to communicate all that; you may need to paint things more broadly. You've seen Deep Blue Sea, right? In that movie, the female scientist injects sharks with 'super intelligence' and ultimate pays the price. It might be easier to suggest that your brain surgeon has been performing experiments on children in order to boost intelligence or similar. When they die, she buries them in the hospital garden (and so your story continues). Involving the parents is a complication you don't need - 2 characters that appear briefly, then don't contribute. Consider starting your story with an establishing shot of the street in which the hospital is located; it's night time, and the audience is shown posters of missing children as the camera prowls into the hospital grounds, where your brain surgeon is working late injecting growth hormone into the brain of an unconscious child... Act 1 concludes with the body of a child being buried in the hospital garden, and you somehow show the audience that this child isn't the first. Perhaps there's something about the child - a red ribbon or whatever - that is noticeable to the audience. Then, later in Act 3, when the plants attack, the audience sees this red ribbon (or whatever) again, stuck to the plant somehow, so the audience makes the necessary connection.Put simply, I suggest you find a way to keep this as a 'one woman' show - and now allude to additional characters (the dead child excepted). What do you think?
sorry max - that should have read *not allude* (it's late!)
Thanks for getting back to me Phil.I feel the same way about act 1 being a weak point as there isn't enough information for the audience to understand the backstory. That said I really like the idea of the shot of the hospital and moving onto pictures of missing children. And definately agreed on some form of signifier for the audience to understand why the plants have become what they are. I will look into this idea thanks for the feedback Phil. In reference to my essay I just did some quick research on wikipedia to get the ball rolling but I'm thinking of looking into Cinema Verite, it's propaganda uses in the post war 50's and 60's, feminist documentaries of the 70's, and the current wave of blockbuster hits bringing the films into a more interactive medium for viewers. For the main film I'm thinking of looking into either Cloverfield or Paranormal activity. I think Cloverfield would be the better choice because the camera within the film places the audience as the character holding it, immersing the audience in the experience.